Take some slivers of onion, some red bell peppers and some good mushrooms. Fry them in olive oil until tender. Put aside and cover. Fry several mashed cloves of garlic briefly in about 4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil. Remove garlic. Take two pieces of good bread and fry in the oil until there's a crispy brown later on the surface. You'll probably need to flip the bread quickly at the start to prevent one side from soaking up all the oil.

Spread a good mustard over each piece of bread and salt and pepper (freshly ground man! We are not animals!) it. Layer on thinly sliced pickles, the previously cooked vegetables and some hot pepper rings. Top with the remaining piece of bread.

I lived on these when I was vegan. They're not great for you, and no one will ever use words like "subtle" or "nuanced" to describe their flavor, but they are incredible, astonishingly good. Serve alongside french fries for a deeply satisfying lunch.


"Not of this world..." -- 256, on the subject of the New Jersey Turnpike